Baked Good Deliverer, Not Problem Solver

I suppose we could start where I usually do, talking about how neglectful I've been and how long it's been since I last wrote, but I must say it really goes without regrets this time!

Usually, it's for lack of time, not content, that I find myself on a blogging hiatus; however, this time around, I found myself baking up a storm, seriously, I'm baking more than ever, I've been putting myself out there, approaching things differently, and trying new things every chance I get.
So with tons of stories, recipes, embarrassing moments, and kitchen messes racing through my brain, why have I struggled so much to find something to write?

I needed a point.

There must have been a reason why I had a sudden surge of baking, life living, experimenting, and trying new things energy.
Well, it's because I didn't know MY point or MY reasoning.
(You know, that whole discover who you are, find the meaning of life, figure out your purpose, sort of thing.)
Melodramatic for a 22 year-old, I know, but bare with me.
I'm going somewhere with this.

I swear.

I think...

But back to finding a point, a reasoning!
Have I found mine?
Eh... That's debatable.
I mean, does anyone ever really know for sure?
Especially, at this young an age?
But there's always a start!

Instead of trying to recap everything that's been going on in the kitchen, I'll just dive into my most recent excursions.

As I'm sure most of you have noticed, autumn is in full swing, and harvest season is upon us! (My favorite season for baking!)

A. Because the flavor palette is aweeeee-some! (Pumpkins, apples, and spices, oh my!)
And B. There is a SERIOUS lack of air conditioning in my kitchen, so I welcome the cool, crisp air with open windows and doors!

So I quickly kicked off the season with fresh pumpkins from the farmer's market, and I made my own pumpkin puree! (Which, was surprisingly easy to do.)
I cut the pumpkins in half, snapped off the stem, and scooped out the seeds.

(And the stringy veiny stuff. Eck!)

Then I just placed the pumpkin halves, skin side up, on a rimmed cookie sheet, and popped them in a preheated 350° oven for 45 minutes.
(Or until fork tender! Cooking times will vary based on the size of your pumpkin and the accuracy of your oven's temperature.)
Remove the pumpkins from the oven and allow them to cool. The skin will peel right off the meat of the pumpkin.
Then just send the pumpkin through your food processor!
BAM!
Homemade puree people, you are awesome.

(Look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself that three times every morning, with confidence.)
The "BAM!" part, I mean, obviously. :-)
Oh come on, chuckle.


Good, thanks.

Now, for just $2, you have four pounds of fresh pumpkin puree!
So what does four pounds of pumpkin puree make?

How about some pumpkin bread???
That you can later turn into pumpkin bread pudding.


And let's switch it up to something chilled: Pumpkin Cheesecake with a Gingersnap Crust, I suggest.

And of course, make room for a classic.







(This was my FIRST ever time making and eating pumpkin pie.)
Whaaatttttt?
And, when your sweet tooth has rotted out, grab a beer, and make some pumpkin macaroni and cheese!
(The above recipes were all found from various sources.
And I had to just keep trying more and more recipes because that pumpkin seemed bottomless!)


Worth every penny.

Point...
Point?

Oh, that's right, getting there!

I've really struggled recently, figuring out where I'm going to continue my higher education after Community College. (Yes, I am still at a community college, deal.) Buttttt as many of you know there has been constant talk of pastry schools and institutes in my future, but financially, it's not an option, and realistically, I'm not sure that I feel like it's worth the financial risks and drama, you know, loans and all that.
My mom has always pushed for pastry school, but I respond in the same way I've been responding for eight years now."I don't want some five star pastry shop."

But okay, what do I want?

To fix the world, obviously.
If you're one of my five avid readers, you've already figured this out!
For anyone new stopping by, I want people to notice not only everything beautiful about themselves, but everything beautiful about the bitter, cynical, sarcastic world we live in.
Because amongst all the dark humor and pessimistic attitudes, it's there, I promise.
And it's the most gorgeous thing you'll ever see!

Unfortunately, my inspiration comes after great misfortune for several friends.
Earlier this summer, a close friend's relative passed away.
In the last month, a good friend received a letter informing him that his financial aid had fallen through, not due to any fault of his own.
And this very week a friend's house was broken into, and many, not just valuable, but more importantly sentimental items were stolen.

(Did you notice the links? Click 'em!)


Now whether it's a recent break-up or a loss in the family, all of these things are discouraging and cause some sort of a broken heart, and while I TRULY and AVIDLY believe your heart is the only thing you can break indefinitely, I definitely found myself lost for words.
And somewhere between the "I'll pray for you"s and the "look on the bright side"s none of us really know how to solve these problems because quite often there's not a solution at all.
There's just hope and a waiting game.

So where does baking fall into place here?

The past seven months have consisted of quite the roller coaster of events for myself, and it's been a process, but you get through it, and things that seemed like a big deal sometimes are really rather trivial, and the rest? It's part of that waiting game...

But no matter the problem, big or small, I found myself in front of the oven, standing over the stove, and covered in flour, with nothing but Pandora keeping me company.
Perfect.

I couldn't solve my problems.
But my baking could comfort my way through them.
And I know that might sound absurd.
And you may think it's me avoiding my problems.
But would you say the same of a shoulder to cry on?
Or a prayer request?

Okay, maybe you would.

But for humans, who are so instinctively drawn to hold people when they're suffering and keep them "in our thoughts and prayers", it's not always about solving the problem.
Sometimes it's about the comfort that gets us by.
But when any of the friends mentioned above underwent their various misfortunes, I even felt a little discouraged, not quite sure where all the beauty was in all this.
But then everyone steps up.
And people come together.
And you realize what friends and community are.

I can't solve my friends' problems.
I can only bake.

And hopefully eating, or the idea that someone thought of you, is as comforting to you as baking is to me.

So cry, freak out, pray, do what you need to do to cope.
And when you can't find the up-side, someone else will find it for you.
And they'll be there to guide you, whether you realize it or not.
(Maybe that's metaphorical.
Or maybe that's the Christian in me.)

I'm sorry for your loss.
Whether it be your boyfriend, grandmother, opportunity, or guitar.(Check the link!)
(Sorry, just trying to make sure we're paying attention.)

Check your door step.
And enjoy the pie.

Thanks everybody.
Cupcakes & Kisses,
Paula-Marie

And don't forget, I thrive off of more than just sugar and butter.
Comment with feedback, please and thank you.